Canon Breaks Down His Frustrations with ‘Evil’ & Struggles with Finding Joy
Back in the spring of 2020, we had Canon as a guest on Community During Chaos. During that time period the incidents with George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor were very fresh. Canon had just released a song called “Evil” born of pure pain, emotion, and exhaustion.
It was powerful, and the message was heard loud and clear for most while others, as in everything, found fault with it.
Canon explained in the interview that he knew music was the best way to express himself. He had a lot of pent up feelings sitting in his soul.
At that time too, he was battling with himself. It was days after posting this message on IG.
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In fact, right before the interview he made a post about needing time away.
“✌🏾It’s time for a break. A real one. And if you need one as well, to find rest or mental peace consider this. No one should ever have to consume so much. We aren’t built to consume so many voices and opinions of a thousand different perspectives. I have never felt so emotionally disturbed on a consistent basis. Spiritually, my bible seems like white words on white pages. Correctly said, I do not see nor feel anything as I’ve try to read or even pray. I haven’t had a genuine smile or laugh since I can remember. Like I have said before, there is absolutely no where to go where I’m not threatened by a worldwide deadly virus or threatened by racist terroristic acts in this country. I’m reminded once I pick up the phone, I’m reminded the moment I turn on the television. And if that wasn’t enough I’m reminded while going grocery shopping having random white people come up to me while shopping with my mother n law saying “what do you feel should be done?” Is there a book I should read?”….this world is on fire right now and im getting burned out and spiritually torched just from being here. While I’m appreciative of so much support from those willing to understand, I just need space from everything and everybody. So I’m out. I’m out until necessary. I need to breathe. I need rest. I need joy. I need life. Yes, so many have it much worse, but our story is still ours. I’ll see everyone again once I find that joy again. But I gotta go. Music will return when it’s time.✊🏾”
Now back to the song “Evil.” Canon knew that the song would turn some heads and make waves. For one, it tackled injustice and racism, two “buzz words” that seem to generate a ton of keyboard talk. Secondly, his use of the “N-Word” in the song.
“I had to have conversations with the team because I said the ni*** out of frustration and I don’t apologize for saying that,” he said.”…I’m not offended by white fragility.”
Once he hit the studio the song just flowed out. Originally, it was to a different beat, but then he reproduced it.
“You realize the people that are with you no matter where you stand,” he stated. “This is where I stand. This is what I’m about.”
He continued, “If you’re more frustrated by what I said than what I’m saying…I think you’re missing it.” (Read that slowly).
At the end of the day, Canon knows he’s not here for everyone and that’s ok. What’s also ok, is not feeling quite ok, he said. In fact, at the time, he said he wasn’t sure how he’d bring his joy back but “Jesus was working.”
“I find joy where the Most High is at. I can bring him wherever He may not be present or seem present.”
Watch the full interview Below (1 hour 22 minute mark):
The good news is that Canon is back. He cut the dreads off and is starting over with the new year. For him, it’s a rebirth and a reminder to leave those last two to three years that he was growing his hair, in the past. Now is about the present, and the future we are heading to.
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