Johann Sebastian Bach penned perhaps one of the most well-known songs of all-time with “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring.” Who would have thought that this classic composer’s now-seminal Christmas staple would become the soundtrack of rapper and producer Spechouse’s life?

Christmastime is a season of reflection, peace, family, and the knowledge that a Savior was born. While loved ones gather in their warm homes and celebrate, there are millions of others going through loneliness and heartbrokenness. For Spec, this almost became a reality, but God intervened in a major way.

Released on Christmas Eve, “Bach’s Jesu, A Christmas Epic” by Spechouse and featuring Kim Cash Tate tells of Spec’s broken marriage and the subsequent loss of contact with his three children.

The longtime creative was married for 17 years but admits the issues were out of control after 4. Spec made the tough decision that many do, and stayed together for their three children, hoping for possible restoration.

Spechouse

During a trip to Dubai for the anniversary of FLAME and his wife in early 2018, Spec met Kim Cash Tate and her husband. She told him she’d felt led by God to create a web series. Upon returning to the states, Tate moved forward with creating the web series and told Spec she believed God was leading her to cast him as the lead male role for the series.

Through working on “Cling the Series,” Spec was challenged by and changed through Kim’s no-nonsense brand of ministry, and as seen in an ‘on-set’ testimonial video, Spec submitted his will and trust totally to God as a result. Spec had some tough decisions to make. He and his wife were divorced by this time, and his kids lived in Sacramento, California. But he felt led to move to Atlanta…away from the toxic environment of his hometown.

“Alright God, I’m going to trust you and make the move,” he said. “The divorce was finalized, but visitation was an issue. I was able to fly back and visit my kids Christmas 2018. As expected, more issues arose. We took a picture on the rooftop together (article cover photo), but after that, I feared I’d never get to see my kids again.”

In this, was a parallel with Bach. The Lord had led him to do music, but he was part of the Royal Guard. The only way out was if they kicked you out; there was no quitting unless you wanted jail time. He chose prison because of that calling and conviction on his life. When he got out, all of his music was set to honor God.

“The first CHH pop artist,” the producer said.

For the next several months, Spec would not see his children and had limited to no communication with them.

“There was a lot of bad stuff going on beyond my control so I just prayed. I started filming in 2018, but by 2019 things started turning around,” Spec shared.

Interestingly enough, it was his oldest son getting kicked out of his mom’s house that opened the door for change.

“He came to stay with me in Atlanta. Then my daughter got kicked out too, and I went and got her,” he explained. “The two of them live with me now, and the third stayed with me during the summer. As soon as he graduates, he’ll go to college out here.”

Spechouse

Their ages are 21, 18, and 16. Spec prides himself in being their father and remembers all the times he took them to school, helped with school projects, and stuck around in a bad situation just so he could raise his kids.

Even with the limited communication prior to them living with him, he was always there for them. Spec recalls ordering an Uber from Dubai at 4 a.m. for his son who was stuck outside his school in the rain when he was stranded.

“Even though the worst of it, God gave me everything I needed and through technology, I was able to stay connected even when I wasn’t allowed to speak with them.”

Moving to Atlanta from California was moving as far away from his kids as possible. He took a leap of faith, not knowing where this journey would lead him. A year and a half later, he has the relationship he’s always wanted with his kids. All he can say is, “God is faithful.”

This year his daughter asked him what he wanted for Christmas, and he said everything he needed was right in his home.

So as Bach’s song is titled, “Jesu, the Joy of Man’s Desiring,” Spec indeed followed Jesus and got joy from his desires. The song is also known as “Jesus, My Joy,” and again, that title applies. The song has been welling up in his spirit since he learned to play it in a high school music class on the piano when he was 15. It was always his favorite holiday song, and now he gets to live through the power of it.

His rendition of the song came together from Thanksgiving through Black Friday and he wasn’t sure if he’d put it out. Spec was just venting his story through music, the same thing he’s been doing his whole life. He realized there was an all too important message in the song that perhaps other fathers could relate too.

According to a 2018 U.S. Census, over one in four children grow up without a father in the home and Spec didn’t want to be part of those statistics. “That’s an epidemic. This affects generations of families.”

He continued, “I’m offering trusting God for a father solution. It has been healing. The comments from people have been overwhelming so far after an early release.”

Some comments said, “I owe some people an apology after this,” others had women apologizing to the fathers who tried to be present in their children’s lives but were turned away.

“I did not know where to go to get advice,” he revealed. “It’s a taboo subject. A separated father from his kids, people think you’re a deadbeat dad.”

Spec wants this to be a beacon of hope for people in the same situation as him. Trust in God when all seems lost, and watch him turn a tragedy into something beautiful.

Perhaps the best way to close out this story is with verse three of the song:

“So I took all of my desires from down here. Our joy is in Jesus Christ around here.

Hey! What if Bach never walked off of his job because he was scared? He didn’t know God would have us writing this song this year. [That’s crazy.]

He didn’t know that I would be 15 in Sacramento and get Mr. Yamamoto and learn his worship song 200 years later on the piano

and you’d hear this today, possibly touched by the story. So run it back. Any year. Every day is God’s glory. My life is Christmas!”

Listen to Spechouse ft. Kim Cash Tate Below: